


Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

by Tastefulcucumber



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 1983, 1st year, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Diagon Alley, Gen, Hogwarts, Magic, Magic AU, Shopping, Wizard AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 21:36:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13257108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tastefulcucumber/pseuds/Tastefulcucumber
Summary: *The tags are Work in Progress. Characters, relationships, warnings, and additional tags will be added as chapters are added.Dan and Phil go to Hogwarts!Dan has been waiting his whole childhood to be the first person in his family to go to Hogwarts. Raised by his muggle father and his French witch mother, Dan doesn't know what to expect from his new school or what kind of shenanigans he and his new friend Phil Lester will get up to!There is a new world of exploring to do for this adventurous duo!





	Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Summer, 1983

“It’s finally over!” Dan ran to his mother’s blue minivan, bolting from the entrance of Pinenut Forge, a secondary school in Sussex. He slid the door to the backseat open, through his bookbag in, and slammed the door shut. “Mylettercomeyet?” Dan slurred as he opened the passenger door and threw himself into the seat.

“Arrived as soon as you left for school. .” His mother confirmed. She wore a strange combination of a long beige robe and Levi jeans. Dan tells his friends the robes are bathrobes when they ask about her clothes. At least he didn’t ever have to explain the pointed witches hat that was hidden in the magically extended glove compartment. “Here.” His mum handed him a thick letter sealed with a wax Hogwarts crest.

“Can we go to London now?” Dan asked hopefully. He was told that he would get his wand after year six, and now could finally get all of his school supplies. Dan would need new supplies for the beginning of his wizard schooling. All witches and wizards in the UK stopped muggle education after key stage 2 and instead would start year one at Hogwarts or at another wizarding school of their choosing.

“That’s what I promised you! Let’s wait for Dad though, he’ll be out at four.” Dan groaned in protest. “That’s less than half an hour!” Dan groaned again. His mum rolled her eyes. His Dad was a banker who always had flexible hours and plenty of free time, so Dan was always a bit spoiled when it came to his parents giving him their full attention. The drive home was quick for Dan, as his mind was racing. He would never have to go to muggle school again! Goodbye Algebra and hello Charms. He would be a first generation Howell at Hogwarts as well. His mother went to school at Beauxbatons Academy of Magic. His father is a muggle from Sussex.

  
His mum had told him about life at Beauxbatons; young men and women hanging out at the Fountain of Youth, carriage races throughout the mountains that enclosed their school, and Madam Maxime, an extraordinarily large, strict, and beautiful woman who ran the school. The school was full of the French and Spanish as well as other romance language speaking countries. There was an aire of loveliness and beauty that was both adored and adapted by each student. His mother still had the mannerisms of Beauxbatons, she was graceful when she walked and spoke eloquently, but she could also be hard and strict in certain circumstances. Though she was hardly ever strict with Dan and instead used her persuasive personality to influence Dan to see her way in doing things. Because of her charm and sharp-wittedness, Madam Maxime took a liking to his mother and helped her get a job as a charm reversal technician in England. Now his mum is the owner of _REDO, UNDO, and DON’T DO!_ : A chain of charm reversal shops that could be compared to a muggle’s mechanics shop.

  
“The boxes need to be brought in. I’ll set the door.” Dan’s mum said as they pulled into their circular driveway outside of their home instead of into the garage.

“But I need to bring in my bag and cleats and I really want to read my letter–”

“Especially the dairy. If it sits out any longer it will spoil and we’ve wasted thirty pounds.” His mother interrupted.

“Oh, all right my other things can wait.” Dan agreed. His mum smiled at her own persuasiveness. She learned that Dan needed an excuse to do most things, and would do anything as long as there was a consequence.

Dan grabbed a box full of the dairy products and rushed into the house, while his mum latched the screen door open. The entrance to the house wasn’t too spectacular, but it was a nice family cottage. It had minimal landscaping, with a small covered porch with a swing bench. The outside of the home was a brown brick color that was masoned in the 16th century. There had been plenty of add-ons and updating as the years went on, but the house still kept its old country feel.

There was a crunch on a car pulling onto gravel, and Dan ran back outside to find his dad pulling into the detached garage with his 1974 black Pontiac. He ran to the garage and greeted his father with a strong hug.

“It’s time! It’s time!” Dan shouted, hopping up and down.

“Excited are we?” His dad laughed as Dan threw himself into the backseat of the Pontiac. “Ready to go as well?”

“I’ve been ready my whole life!” Dan responded.

“Well, let mum put the van in and we’ll grab her and go. I’m just as excited as you are, actually. Never been to London. Maybe we can get mum into muggle London so we can do some exploring as well?”

“That sounds fun, but after my wand, right?” Dan said.

“Right.”

His mum pulled the van into the other side of the two car garage and tapped onto the drivers side window of the Pontiac. “What’d you think you’re doing. Do you know how to drive to Diagon Alley?” So the two parents swapped places, and the family headed off to Lorrie’s Robe Shop in London.

The whole ride to London Dan thought about his new wand, even ignoring his new letter he had waited so long for. What would the wand look like? What would be in it? Was Olivanders really the best place to get a wand? His mum’s wand came from some French wand maker in Paris. Hers was a white birch wand with mandrake leaves and sage. It worked well for her, but whenever another witch found out what it was made of they would be in such a shock. Apparently, herbs wasn’t a common ingredient in English wands.

After what seemed like a short trip, they were pulling into Lorries, a pink shop that Dan’s dad swore he couldn’t see until the car pulled right into the parking space out front. It was a pink building with white lacy embellishments.

“It wasn’t there a secound ago!” Dan’s dad protested.

“It’s concealed with magic. Only wizards and witches can see it, as well as this parking spot. It’s wizard only parking. Perfect spot to park as most of us don’t have cars. Let’s go in!” His mum declared.

“Mum, how is this a wand shop?” Dan asked. It was obviously a witches robe shop, and Dan was beginning to think his mother wanted to go on a clothes shopping trip instead.

“You’ll see! There is a few ways to get into Diagon Ally. This is my favorite. The others I wouldn’t be caught dead in. I’ve seen the crowd at the Leaky Cauldron.”

  
The family hopped out of the car, and headed into the pink building. A small bell rang as the door to the shop opened, and there were quite a few people inside: mostly witches in groups browsing at various robes, but some men who quickly made their way to the back of the store.

“Oh, look at these!” His mum touched a lilac robe with gold embellishments that was displayed at the front of the store. “Just let me have a look around real quick like.”

Dan rolled his eyes and began to follow his mother around the store. His dad was off looking at the very small section of Wizard dress robes. Wizard stuff always seemed to interest him, no matter how mundane.   
“Oh Dan, they have a new section upstairs! Children’s everyday robes! Lets go pick out a pair!” His mum insisted, dragging Dan upstairs. It was twenty minutes before the family finally paid. His mum holding a bag containing a mint green robe and matching witches hat, a navy and maroon set of everyday children robes for Dan, who was now wearing the navy robe over his jeans and fleece jacket. She even bought a cheap set of dress robes for her husband who insisted he would make use out of them one day.

“Had the strangest conversation with some Arthur fellow. Seemed to think my suit was funny. Told him I was a banker. Then he started asking me all of these questions about money. I ended up giving him a penny for a knut. Here,” Dan’s dad handed the knut to his mum. “you take that. I’m not sure about the conversion, but I’m sure it’s worth more than a penny.”

“It is about the same, actually. Ready to go?” Dan’s mum asked.

“Yes!” Dan shouted excitedly, turning a few heads of surrounding customers.

“Let's go, then.” And his mum moved toward the back of the building, to a glass door that lead out into an outdoor, but bricked in, patio area where a few witches were sitting and drinking tea.

  
“Watch now, Dan. You’ll have to do this someday too.” His mum took out her white wand and touched bricks with the tip. “Fifth from the bottom, second across from the right, fourth from the bottom, second across from the right, “Seventh from the bottom, first across from the right. Five, four, seven – two, two, one. That’s how I remember.” And with her final words, the bricks moved apart one by one, then two by two, then three by three, until quickly there was no wall left, disappearing into a long and narrow strip of shop. “Diagon Alley! Here it is! See, how easy was that! Have you read that letter yet, Dan? What do you need besides a wand? We’re right next to Potage’s Cauldron Shop.”

“Let me look.” Dan quickly ripped open his letter and dug around the many contents until he found his school list. “Size two pewter.”

“Easy enough. Let's go.”

  
The family walked into the shop, greeted by a friendly shopkeeper.

“First year at Hogwarts, son? You’re one of my firsts to come by. Letters must have just come out!” The old shopkeeper greeted.

“Yeah, it’s my first year.” Dan responded sheepishly.

“A pewter size two cauldron, I’m sure!” The shopkeeper guessed for him and quickly brought out a box with a picture of a small cauldron on it. “This is the best for students. Cheap for when you burn a hole through it, and yes, you will burn a hole through it! But it is strong enough to mix most common potions. You’ll love the class, I’m sure. Can be great fun once you get the hang of it. Just be careful messing around with ingredients! Never know what you might come up with. That will be just 4 sickles if that’s what you’re looking for. Got some more expensive models too, for the more experienced first years, but trust me when I say this will be the one all your friends are getting!”

“That’s collapsible, is it? How does that work?” Dan’s mum asks the shopkeeper, who maintained his wide grin and helpful demeanor.

“Mild Reducto and Reparo spells that happen automatically. There is a version for three sickles without the charm, but you can’t quite fit it into your suitcase then. Not good for traveling class to class.”

“Well, for four sickles we’ll try it.”

“Nice choice, ma’am. Four sickles that is.” The shopkeeper agreed. As Dan’s mum was paying, a balding red-haired man with an equally red-haired child following close behind, came up to them.

“Tom, is it? Just saw you in the shop a few moments ago. Thought of something else to ask you. So, if you don’t have goblin access vaults, how do you get into the vaults? My son Bill here actually was wondering that, clever boy. Always had a liking for banking.” The man asked very fast to Dan’s father.

“Oh, well, you see..." Dan's father began awkwardly,  "we go to a teller, and you tell the teller how much money you would like to take out of your account, you see. Then they use math to take that about out of a collection and subtract from your account that amount. We don’t have vaults exactly. The money isn’t necessarily their all the time, either. There is always less money at the bank than there is in people’s accounts.” Dan’s dad responded, off his guard at first then melting into his banker voice.

“Fascinating! How can there be accountability for that money though, if it the money is out of a collection?” The man continued.

“Well, we have computers—” Dan’s dad started.

“Con-fue-tors? Is that a type of muggle currency?”

“Uhm –”

“Oh, hello Arthur!” Dan’s mum turned around, handing the new cauldron to her son. “Haven’t seen the corrections office at my stores in a while. Must have finally figured out that my shop is a good as the Ministry.”

“Hello, Tia. Yes, I must say your business is thriving! Barely any muggle artifacts for us to deal with. Good thing though, I still have a bite on my pinky from a tea pillow who grew teeth.”

“Oh, yes, I’m glad two. Seems like many witches try to make up their own charms that just don’t work out too well for them, isn’t that right?”

“See it all the time, Tia, see it all the time. I tell you again and again, you would be a great addition to the Accidental Magical Reversal Squad!”

“Not interested, Arthur. Ministry work’s never been my cup of tea.”

“Oh, that’s what lots of my coworkers say until they’ve actually got into the Ministry. Oh, this is my son Bill, by the way. Needed to get him a new cauldron, burn a hole through his last year. He has a nasty habit of mixing different ingredients together. Nasty. And this must be your husband and boy! Didn’t know you married a muggle! Fantastic, just fantastic!”

“Oh, yes, Tom has as much fascination of the Wizard world as you do the muggle world, Arthur. You two should get together sometime and you could exchange stories!” Dan’s mum offered. “And Dan here is going into his first year at Hogwarts. Very exciting.”

“Oh, that would be excellent, Tia. Molly, my wife, and I do have quite a handful to look after though. Ginny is in her terrible twos, and my five boys won’t stop fighting, even my three-year-old joins in. He’ll be a handful alright! Quite the rivalry between them, especially when it comes to Quidditch. My twins love their mini racing brooms. Only goes five feet off the ground, but they seem to find a way to make it hover higher than that, or at least that’s what Molly says, anyway. So, I’m not sure if I can get away.

“Oh, that’s alright, Arthur. I was raised with lots of brothers and sisters, I get how much of a hassle it can all be. Worth it though, I’m sure. I’ve only got Dan here; one was my max.” Dan’s mum laughed, and Arthur joined her.

“Molly can’t seem to have enough. Oh, it can be a hassle but it’s worth it. I can tell I’ve got some clever boys on my hands, although this one needs to learn to read his potion book a bit more clearly.”  
“Dad, it’s the worst subject there is!” Bill explained.

“I don’t disagree, Bill, but perhaps that’s not the best thing to say in a cauldron shop.” Arthur said. Indeed the shopkeeper was giving Bill a bit of a glare. “Well, perhaps I will see you again soon, Tia. Shop licensing is coming up soon, and all. Have a nice day Tom, Dan.” Then Arthur and Bill left the shop into Diagon Alley.

“I thought that he might have been who gave you that knut. Always had a strange love for muggle things, Arthur Weasley did. Alright, Dan, what’s next? Wand?” His mum asked him.

“Yes!” Dan shouted excitedly and ran out the store not bothering to wait for his parents.

“Hey! Unless you know where to get one, I’d stick with us if I were you!” His mum called after him.

 

Dan bounced up and down on his heels, and when his father came out of the shop he shoved the cauldron into his arms and ran off to the other side of the street and into Ollivanders: Makers of Fine Wands since 382 BC. The moment he stepped into the shop, an old wizard appeared from what seemed to be a library of wand boxes lining the walls of the shops.

“I must say, I know most everyone who has ever walked into my shop, but you, young man, are a mystery. I must not have sold to your parents. Muggle-born, I take it?” Ollivander asked politely, then added, “Not that there is anything wrong with that, eh? It just means I’ll give you a little bit of direction for using one. Had many muggle-borns in my time hold a wand backward and try to cast. I've avoided more than one dangerous accident.”

“Oh, well mum is a witch, but she’s from France. Her wand came from France, too, I think.”

“Ah, must be a Beauvais. They have a few locations, you know. I wouldn’t buy one from the Americans, though. Made of swamp wood. French varieties come in lighter, paper woods, much better for charms casting. Lets, get you fitted, then.” Ollivander waved his wand which then shot out different tape measures who began measuring everything for Dan’s wingspan to the length of his nose.

“Alright, that will do. Seems like we should try this one.” Ollivander picked up a wand box directly in front of him. “Made this just a few days ago. Made of ebony. Knew it would come in handy.” He opened up the box and handed and short and black wand. “Go ahead and give it a wave.”

Dan did just that, and instead of producing any kind of magic, it just sat like a stick in his hand.

“Very off balance. No, no, let's try again.” Ollivander took the wand out of his hand and then ran to a far corner of the shop, getting on his knees to pick out a box that was close to the floor and covered in dust.

“Opposite of the other wand, I suppose. A few hundred years old, this one is. Oak, twelve inches. Very sturdy.”

Dan took the wand from Ollivander and waved it straight up. An extremely loud bang occurred, causing them both to jump.

“Interesting. It seems as though this one isn’t strong enough either. The ebony was so weak that it refused to even cooperate. I think we’ll try something longer.” He walked around his shop, stroking his chin, and spotted what he was apparently looking for. “Fourteen inches. Quite long, but I’ve made longer. The core of this one isn’t unicorn hair like the others. I thought that would be a good core for balance, but not nearly strong enough. Dragon heartstring should do it. Oak, again.”

Dan took the long light brown wand and waved it, which then shot out a spark and recoiled his entire arm up.

“Fourteen and a half, dragon heartstring, Spruce. But be careful with a Spruce, as it really desires a confidence most youths lack. I normally would not give this to a child, but you seem to be a special case. Now let's see where I put this.” Ollivander went into a back storage room and came out almost as fast as he went in. “Here we are.” He pulled out a very long, tan colored wand with dark brown graining.

Dan took it from Ollivander and, attempting to be as confident as possible, struck it diagonally through the air. A trail of thin golden light escaped through the tip.

Ollivander smiled widely, and exclaimed, “Perfect! No breaks, even distribution, solid balance. The wand has chosen, it seems! That will be twenty galleons, four sickles, then.”

Just in time, Dan’s mum and dad walked into the entrance to the store. His dad was looking around in awe, while his mum had a rare stern look on her face.

“Twenty galleons, four sickles, mum!” Dan said, holding up his new wand. His mum dropped her stern look and grabbed the wand.

“How many inches is this? It’s huge! Dan is just a boy, should he start with a training wand, or –” His mother began.

“Fourteen and one-half inches, made of Spruce with a core of Dragon Heartstring. Being a child doesn’t have to do with how powerful a child can be. This wand all but chose your son, ma’am. We did try a shorter wand, but his personality is much too big for an average length wand. Wand length has little to do with the size of the owner, and all to do with the size of the person inside. And in a few years, he will grow into the wand, and I will look less bulky from an appearance standpoint. Now, looking at your wand,” Ollivander gestured to the mother's wand which was sticking out from her robe, and his mother reluctantly handed it to him. “Birch, amazingly flexible, so flexible I don’t like to use it at all. It also has a tendency to break down in water. But I can tell that a water repellant charm was placed on itself. How you ever managed to cast a charm on a wand is peculiar. Perhaps because of how flexible the wood is, the charm didn’t rebound. And the core in, sage, something I admittedly have never used, but I know wizards who are great seers that like to use sage for the aroma it can give off, helping into a trance. And mandrake leaves, another rare ingredient not found in an English wand. I have seen it used often in the Asian variety. The leaves certainly give personality to the wand, letting it connect to the owner. All in all, a wand for Divination and Charms and not much more.”

“My profession is Charm reversal. It was made with that in mind.” Dan’s mum told him proudly. “I tend not to use magic for much else. We live in a muggle neighborhood, and my husband is a muggle, so we do most things as muggles. Well except dishes, I hate to do those by hand.” Dan’s mum laughed.

“Yes, will just make sure your boy here doesn’t get your hands on your wand, the flexibility combined with his power he puts behind it may tear it to pieces. Amazing, actually. I haven’t sold a spruce wand ever since, well, you know of course. Confidence was hard to come by in past years.” Dan’s mum nodded gravely in agreement. Ollivander was, of course, referring to the reign of you-know-who, which came to an end two years ago from a one-year-old boy named Harry Potter. His mum was one of the few who believed You-know-who to be gone for good: most others thought that his absence was only temporary.

“Twenty galleons, you said?” Dan’s mum asked.

“And four sickles.”

 

After paying, and leaving the shop back into Diagon Alley, Dan asked his mum, “He was going on about how much confidence I put behind my wand. But I didn’t feel like I was doing that at all. I was more excited if anything.”

“To be honest, Dan, I’m not sure what a strong wand will do for you. It might make learning charms harder. They start you on real easy charms that don’t take much power at all. You might overblow.” His mum expressed, worriedly.

“Then I’ll skip the easy stuff!” Dan exclaimed. For him, having a powerful wand was exciting, and he couldn’t wait to see what it could do. For the first time, Dan couldn’t wait to start his classes.

“I’m sure they won’t let you skip the basics. Oh, I’m sure you’ll be fine. It will all be fine…” Then all of a sudden his mum’s compassion slipped away into her rare scowl. “Oh right, I was mad at you! Don’t go running off in a place you’ve never been to by yourself. You never know where you might end up. Especially in wizarding communities! You could get seriously hurt! I don’t care if it is from one end of the Alley to the other or across the road – you stay with me. Even if you’re with your father, you stay near me. Sorry dear.” His mum mentioned to her husband. “You don’t know where you’re going either, and it is just as dangerous for you as it is for Dan. So I need both of you to stick by me, alright?”

“Alright.” Dan agreed halfheartedly.

“You understand why?” His mum asked.

“Yes.” Dan said.

“Good. Now, what else do we need to get?”

Dan reached into his robes and pulled out the letter, and put his new wand, which was still in the box, in the robe pocket. “Books. Lots of them.”

“Better go to Flourish and Blotts, then. It’s further down the street. What does it say for robes, while we’re by Madam Malkins?”

“Um, Three sets of plain black work robes, one plain black pointed hat, one pair of protective gloves, one winter cloak that is black with silver fastening, and then it says here that clothes should have name tags. Really? How will we do that?”

“We’ll figure it out. I’m sure the tailor can stitch it in.” His dad assured.

 

The family turned into the next shop over, which had moving mannequins in the window doing various poses in their outfits, which Dan thought to be extraordinarily funny.

After getting fitted for robes, and finding out that having names tags on clothing mean a swish of a wand resulting in a name on the underside of the robes and hat, the family moved on to the next requirement.

“One set of phials, mum.” Dan read of his paper.

“I’ve got a nice set at home I’ve never used, what else is on the list?” Dan’s mum replied.

“One telescope.”

“That we need to get.

“And brass scales.”

“And that we need to get also. Let’s stop by Wiseacres.”

 

They pushed their way into a crowded shop full of wizards, all trying to get their hands on something Dan couldn’t see.

“Calm down! I’ve got three more crates in the back room!” He heard the shopkeeper yell over their heads.

Dan heard a wizard behind him say, “Real doxy venom powder! I don’t know how old Harold did it! And only a gallon per bag!”

Dan and his family shoved their way to the back of the store and got a nice set of brass scales as well as a steel telescope, which his mum insisted were the best.

One long queue later, the family went into Flourish and Blotts for the last items on Dan’s list.

“Hogwarts, eh? What year?” The shopkeeper asked Dan. Dan responded first, and the shopkeeper immediately dug around behind the counter and brought up a stack of books two feet high tied together with twine. “Always have them bundled for first and second years.

 

Dan’s father carried the books out of the store, while his mother had the clothes, and Dan had his scales, telescope, and cauldron.

“Going to Hogwarts doesn’t come cheap, does it, Tom?” His mum mentioned, trying to feel how many coins were left in her pocket without dropping her clothes in her arms.

A middle-aged wizard turned around to face the family and said, “It never does! It never does.”


End file.
